A new toy was rented and brought to my house last Saturday. It was a Bandit Model 65XL chipper. Let me ask again, "Why do companies give tough names to power equipment?" (Our chain saw is called The Excalibur. It's written right on the blade.) This just encourages men to do stupid things with their Bandit or their Excalibur.
Bruce had a prodigious amount of yard clippings that needed to be taken care of before several generations of field mice moved in. He usually burns these piles, but for some reason, this year he wanted to try a chipper. (Maybe it had something to do with a certain soccer mom who marched across the road from the school and gave Bruce "what for" a few years ago. She was sure he was trying to kill her soccer-playing kid with toxic burn-pile fumes.)
I watched for a few minutes, to make sure that everything was running ok, then left for the bridal shower. When I got home, most of the pile had turned into a different sort of pile, and the Bandit Model 65XL had been returned to the rental store.
Was Bruce impressed with the new toy? Not so much, I'd say. I think he'll go back to the tradition of burning those piles. But not on Saturday mornings when soccer games are in progress.
Did you ever hear about that man who killed his wife, then chopped her up and put her body parts through a chipper pointed over a river? Bet he used a Bandit Model 65XT. Just sayin'...